Monday, March 18, 2013

Day 49 -- Raise Your Hands If You're Not Sure

There's chenille and then there's chenille.  I am hoping this is of the latter variety...meaning that it is several steps above the earth toned chenille tunics that are still offered in the plus size section at Walmart (which feel more like pipe cleaners than actual high-grade chenille--if there actually exists such a hierarchy).  Since it was a gift from my Mom (back when chenille ruled the galaxy), I know that this is a high quality sweater (I'm not sure that my Mom even knows that Walmart exists, so we've got that going for us).  I recall that it is fitted (perhaps a euphemism for "tight") and keeps the heat in like nothing else. And, yes, I acknowledge that perhaps chenille isn't the most en vogue of fibers, but I'm hoping that this sweater can rise above any trends and provide me with a day's worth of compliments, or, barring that, at least warmth and a good fit.

Yes, I bought several chenille sweaters from Express
back in the day...fortunately, none of them survived
into this decade (and were there multiples!).
I don't think the flash did this sweater any favors.
It actually looks very classy--just not in macro.

Okay, so now I remember why I don't always gravitate towards this sweater. Despite its deep Gwen-Stefani's-lipstick-red and well-crafted (but chenille) fibers, this v-neck is just a little bit, well, fitted would be the kind word for it.  Not that it's too small, or anything, but it just wasn't the kind of sweater anyone would want to wear if they were trying to reach anything on a high shelf.  Or yawn. Or possibly Jazzercise.

Having said that, I still haven't given up on this one yet.  Even my Mom, the benefactor of this fine specimen of synthetic fibers, told me that she can't imagine that I'll ever wear this sweater, unless, and I quote, "You are just desperate for a cherry red sweater to go under a jacket."  Of course, by "jacket," she is not referring to a ski coat, so I'm pretty sure that this limited set of circumstances will never come to fruition...but, just in case, I'll keep this one around--on a tight leash and a high shelf. Which, by the way, I won't be able to reach while wearing a sweater this short. Maybe I should look into those tunics at Walmart...

My rating: Gerard Butler.  Although he has graced more than his share of men's fitness magazines (which are pretty much only purchased by women, I might add), this buff but roguish Scotsman has made just a few too many clunkers with Mesdames Heigl, Biel, and Swank lately, and is really testing my patience.  No one can deny his good looks, and a good Scottish brogue can make up for a couple of missteps, but his poor judgement in roles lately, coupled with the "fitted" nature of this sweater and the questionable stylishness of this fiber, put him on the "watch" list (and I don't mean his films).  He won my heart in Dear Frankie, and I enjoy the occasional red carpet photos of him in US Magazine, but his off-screen tomcatting (which is considerably better than "TomKatting" I guess) and his sometime lack of personal grooming has left me cold (much like this sweater, when I make any motions with my arms).  Nobody expects Gerard to get back into his 300 shape anytime soon, but is it too much to ask for an engaging and intelligent film that allows for an occasional high-five, fist pump, or, basically, any movement of the arms?

(And while you're at it, Gerard, if you get any script that requires you to be madly in love with Hilary Swank, run. Far away).

This sweater will be on probation until further notice.

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