Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Day 48 -- I'm a Cotton-Sweatered Ninny-Muggins

One of my sweater sisters (or should that be sweata sistas?) once gave me the advice to wear my sweaters according to a seasonal color scheme.  Her reasoning was that certain colors would just feel "wrong" when you wore them out of season, and, more importantly, since you haven't worn all of your sweaters yet, you wouldn't be sick of your wardrobe come February. While I didn't pass that bill into law right away, I did realize that not all of my sweaters looked appropriate for year-round use.

Take, for example, today's lovely crew neck.  I remember wearing this in the fall, and then having an odd craving for those chalky Brach's Conversation Hearts (which, if you haven't seen them lately, have gotten almost too hip for my liking.  Tweet me? No thank you!).  This is clearly a sweater that was made for, if not February, then definitely a month not during the regular season for football.

The tag for this sweater indicates that it is from the Gap, and dates back to 5/2000, which, as I interpret it, means that it is from the 5th quarter of 2000 (or it could be May...but I doubt that they get that specific).  I don't know how long their quarters are, but I'm assuming that this is from their spring line (but, if the 5 stands for autumn, my entire hypothesis will be blown).  Either way, this bad boy is over ten years old, yet (to me anyway) looks just as fresh as it did when I bought it (which, again, was either in May of 2000, some random 5th quarter of 2000, or in 2001 at a Gap Outlet). I chose to wear it on a day in which I'd be fairly active, and thereby appreciative of the 3/4 length sleeves and 100% cotton fiber content. If only the rest of my life could be as organized as my choices of sweaters have been.

What the Cupid's softball team wears for their uniforms...

Color-blocking and stripes?  Don't mind if I do!
For a cotton sweater worn in the heart [sic] of February, I have to admit that this little fella held up more than his end of the bargain. Sure, the 3/4 length sleeves might be a bit of a stretch this time of year, but one certainly can't argue with the color scheme here...you can practically feel the cavities being formed from those overly-sweet (and delicious) Valentine's Day cupcakes. I defy anyone to be in a foul mood while wearing this little candy-colored creation...or was that because I wore this on a Saturday?  No matter...I enjoyed this sweater (and probably paid a whole $29.99 for it) and will most likely see it again when the chocolate snowmen are replaced by their aortic counterparts on the shelves at Walgreen's.

My rating: Will Ferrell. To the general population, the name Will Ferrell evokes laughter and the random Anchorman or Talledega Nights quotation. My relationship with the (mostly) funnyman is a bit more complicated: I enjoy quite a bit of what he does, but really only need to see him in a limited capacity.  Just like that Brach's heart, more than a handful of Will Ferrell's shtick can cause, if not tooth decay, than a severe case of self-indulgence overload. For my $29.99, a little Will Ferrell goes a long way, and I would no sooner wear this sweater in October than would I welcome a Will Ferrell vehicle in which he plays a man-child who realizes that he never learned the Dewey Decimal System and goes back to elementary school to right that wrong (all the while finding love with his third grade teacher, played Elizabeth Banks).  And did I mention that he streaks in that movie (I guess that goes without saying in Mr. Ferrell's movies).

It is, of course, the exception that proves the rule (I have never understood that expression, but it is certainly said enough on sitcoms so I believe it to be true).  The outlier can be described in just four beautiful words: "Santa! I know him." I can forgive Will Ferrell pretty much everything because of the sheer joy that he exudes in his performance as Buddy the Elf. Sure, I could do without those yellow tights (especially on Blu Ray), and Zoey Deschanel hadn't yet perfected her doe-eyed adorkability yet, but for pure Christmas fun, Elf ranks up there with the best.   But wait...where was I?  Oh yes...this sweater, right.  This striped pink confection will bring joy to your (Valentine's) holiday season, but, like the man who brought us Chazz Michael Michaels, Alex Trebek, and, of course, the cheerleader from SNL, it is at its best when used sparingly. And, speaking of confections, if "you see gum on the street, leave it there. It isn't free candy". 

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