Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Day 55 -- The Most Dramatic Blog Entry Ever

Worn on February 16th...blogged, well, sometime when writing about sweaters seemed preferable to working on my taxes.

Although wearing a heart sweater two days after Valentine's Day might seem like an oversight on my part, make no mistake, it was all part of my master plan (do not insert a maniacal laugh...there is nothing devious going on here).  As I will be attending the Sweetheart Open with several of my skaters this weekend (I guess they were hoping that Valentine's Day would fall on a weekend this year.  As nobody says anymore, "Fail."), I figured that this would be an excellent opportunity for me to give this J. Crew newbie some airtime.  I'm sure that, by now, most of you are thinking, "Newbie?  Oh, that must mean that she purchased it sometime when Mad About You was still on the air." Ye of, well, I was going to say, "Little faith," but then I realized that I haven't given any of you any reason to assume that I actually own clothes that were constructed during the Obama administration.  I do.  I have plenty of sweaters from this year (oops!  I might have made a few, ahem, investments in my wardrobe in January) and this would be one of them.  It probably was slightly on sale when I ordered it, but not so much that I purchased it in a complimentary color or anything (I make no promises that it was the only sweater in the box, however).

Anyway, I have never worn this little lilac sweater, but am desperate to wear something that I don't have to make excuses for...except for explaining why I'm wearing what is clearly meant to be debuted during the weeks leading up to Valentine's Day.  But I'm guessing that a group of skaters dressed in sequined ensembles and their equally bedazzled coaches will be a fairly easy crowd, so I should be safe on that front (but if my skater doesn't have enough glittery mascara on? Off with her head!).

No, I didn't get this at Forever 21 (it only looks that way).

No pills, no cowls, no problems...

Because this Whitman's Sampler of a sweater was so innocuous (there weren't any nuts or weird jellies that you'd mistakenly bite into), I can't say that I actually even noticed it during the entire day (which was long.  So very long).  This must be what normal people feel like when they wear sweaters.  They aren't surprised when they fit (because, duh, they always try things on before they buy them), and they don't spend the entire day obsessing about the issues that irritate them about the sweater...because, again, they actually tried the sweater on before making the purchase. 

Blogger's guilty admission: I had to wear this again in mid-March...not because I ran out of sweaters, but because I honestly had very little recollection of any deeds (good, bad, or indifferent) that this sweater committed.  

It was soft, fit nicely, and would have brought cheer to everyone who looked at it had I not covered it up with a heavy coat (that rink was frigid!) Maybe this sweater won't be around in twenty years (it does seem to have a rather limited window of opportunity for wearing), so I should enjoy it while it's here.  I certainly wouldn't wear a heart sweater more than a few times a season, lest that become part of my costume should I ever need an avatar for a role-playing game (you sneer, but do you think Charlie Brown wanted to be remembered for his ill-fated choice to wear that zigzagged yellow t-shirt?).

My rating: Chris Harrison. He always seems to be enjoying himself (in the most gentlemanly way, of course), but when the occasion requires him to say, "Ladies, there is only one rose remaining" or "Coming up: the most dramatic rose ceremony ever, " he can do so without a trace of cynicism.  Even though he appears to appreciate the humor intrinsic in much of his job, it is clear that he takes the bachelor/ette's quest for love quite seriously (even if they themselves do not).  When it comes to romance, one needs only look to Chris Harrison (you thought I was going to say Fabio??) or this J. Crew sweater for a warm, loving, and classy (always classy) embrace.

Although he's been known to laugh at the hyperbolic nature of those "Most shocking elimination/revelation/graduation ever," voice-overs, he is somehow always able to maintain order in the cat fight that inevitably ensues on The Women Tell All episode and get everybody's claws retracted with a kind word and a knowing glance to the audience. He doesn't take himself too seriously (as it evident in the whimsical arrangement of these hearts...also in the entire three seasons of Bachelor Pad), but is always at the top of his game. While he may always be associated with roses, hot tubs, and "journeys," there is far more depth to Chris Harrison (and this sweater) than simply in matters of the heart. So, Chris, if you're offering, yes I will accept that rose.

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