Thursday, December 13, 2012

Battle of the Yellow Turtlenecks: Day One

For the next three days, it will be a battle royale.  Three sweaters will enter...only one will survive (okay, maybe two--if there are two really great candidates).  Yes, it's the long-awaited, highly anticipated Battle of the Yellow Turtlenecks.  And to make this competition even more intense, two of the contestants have a fraternal twin, or triplet (this little beaut has a light-blue twin, and tomorrow's offering has a green AND an orange sibling.  And I'm sure they were $29.99.  There can be no other explanation).

What will happen if this sweater does not get chosen?  What does that do to his light blue brethren (if the yellow sweater is too short and has a saggy neck, won't the same fate befall him in blue)? And what of the triplets?  Oh, the potential for carnage will be great.

So much for sentimentality...I felt absolutely no emotion when I put this goldenrod turtleneck on in the, "Isn't this chunky knot cozy," or "This bright color really cheers up a cold December morning." No, all it evoked was the urge to keep pulling it down (chunky sweaters should be long and a bit over-sized...fine gauge turtlenecks, however, are allowed to be slightly cropped and fitted--the tribe has spoken), and an excitement to take it off when I went to play tennis. I contemplated putting it on again when I went back to the rink, but I decided that there would be no more second chances for this early 2000s American Eagle turtleneck. And, although I tried to make a case for his (really pretty) light blue sibling, ultimately, it suffered the same fate as his yellow doppelgänger.

So today had a double elimination, (which I usually dislike when it is on reality competitions, but it does make way for that sweater that I bought on Sunday). The grade for these dullards: William Hurt and John Heard. Virtually indistinguishable, inoffensive, but nothing you'd seek out.

Victims of the sweater blog so far: 3.

Tomorrow is day 2 of The Great Yellow Turtleneck Cage Match. And this one has 2 siblings to support!

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