Sunday, December 16, 2012

Night of the Living Yellow Turtleneck: The Final Chapter

Hey...wake up. This sweater isn't that dull, is it? Okay, maybe it is.  A Gap (Outlet, no less) ribbed cotton turtleneck doesn't exactly inspire, does it.  I found a tag near the label that gave its release date, September of 2001 (kind of spooky, no). I'm sure I've worn it a few times during its tenure (there's even what looks to be a pizza sauce stain on the front...did I actually wear this to a gathering?), but I can't say that I remember any of them. This does not bode well for this yella fella.


What can I say about this sweater, other than, "It was fine." It was long enough, didn't annoy me during the day, and, darn it, it was yellow.  If I need to wear something yellow to match a patterned skirt, I guess this is my go-to option.  But could I go through the next few years knowing that I did not have a yellow turtleneck in my wardrobe?  Would the shame be too great (or, some might argue, would wearing a ten-year old snooze of a sweater be far more shameful)?

So, I'm keeping it.  But it's on probation, and I will cut it no slack (wouldn't you know it, the stain came out in the wash.  There goes that excuse).

My rating: Taylor Hicks.  He may have won American Idol (mostly because Chris Daughtry had that surprise elimination in the final four), but he is certainly nobody's favorite.  This may be the best of the yellow turtlenecks, but it could never best Phillip Phillips or Carrie Underwood (or even Lee DeWyze, another lackluster Idol winner) in a sing-off.

The body count over the past 5 days: 5 sweaters. Maybe I'm not such a sweater hoarder after-all.

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