Sunday, December 9, 2012

100 Days of Sweaters

People use blogs for a multitude of purposes: to record travel experiences, to comment on fashion (and then win a judging role on "America's Next Top Model" or "Project Runway"), or even to discuss various issues relating to the care and feeding for exotic cyber pets (I'm suspecting that many of these were dreamed up during the boring parts of "Julie and Julia").

I have been told many times that I should have a blog (this is less a compliment to my writing ability and more a way to politely put a lid on my eclectic Facebook status posts).  For years I resisted this as strongly as I fought the urge to go on Twitter (the bird won...but I still refuse to "tweet," so there).  Who would want to read my daily musings on the career of Scott Baio, the merits of the various varieties of cookie dough, or, even a countdown to the return of heart turtlenecks (it's imminent...I assure you).  I'm hoping that the answer is "nobody," which will give me the freedom to analyze the very firmament upon which this country was built. Yes, I'm talking about sweaters.

Although the shoe gets more than its share of hype, (Carrie Bradshaw, my finger points squarely at you), I strongly believe that people get more comfort from a chunky-knit sweater on a Sunday afternoon than they would a pointy-toed stiletto. But then again, Victoria Beckham doesn't strike me as somebody who cares about that particular c-word (and if I were married to David Beckham, I would forgo happiness for my ten little piggies too). Sweaters provide warmth, style, and, on occasion, festivity.  But they are most often judged in terms of their degree of coziness.

Sweaters have one basic job: to keep their wearer warm.  When they do that successfully, they can expect to have a long and prosperous position in the October to April sweater rotation.  When they itch, pill, or fail to keep said owner toasty, then they often get relegated to the bottom of the pile (or worse...the storage bins in the attic).  Maybe they don't get tossed out onto the streets right away (hey, mid 90s turtlenecks from the Limited...when's the last time you've seen daylight?), but their days in "the show" may be far behind them.

I have a sneaking suspicion that some of my sweaters have been getting away with a great many of these crimes for a long time now. Without some form of record keeping, that acrylic cable knit turtleneck from the long-gone mall store could be taking up valuable real estate that could be filled by some lovely new offerings from Boden, Anthropologie, or, on a good day, Banana Republic.  So, Aeropostale, New York and Company, and even The Limited sweaters take notice--100 Days of Sweaters has begun. Be cozy...don't itch me...and, for goodness sake, be long enough.

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