Behold, the red Gap turtleneck from Holiday '06.
(I was hoping maybe that speaking in biblical parlance might make this sweater seem more important that it actually is).
It wasn't very invigorating when I wore its sibling in tan a week ago, and it's even less so now. Sure, the neck has kind of an interesting pattern and the fit is fairly good. And who doesn't need a good red turtleneck this time of year? Other than that, however, there's not much about which to pontificate here.
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Aren't I demure? |
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Note to designers: sew your hems with orange thread and I'll purchase your garments! |
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Oh, there's a different pattern on the neck...that's certainly
worthy of an additional photo.
If you thought Argo got your pulse racing, wait until you read about my adventures in this basic red cotton-wool blend sweater. Right...ummm...maybe I should have said, "If you thought Lincoln was a thrill-a-minute roller coaster ride of a film, you'll really enjoy reading about this crimson turtleneck from six years ago." What can I say? This turtleneck left about as much of an impression on me as most of NBC's fall lineup (sorry, I think Jay Leno's monologue just infiltrated this blog). While I was fairly non-plussed by this sweater, I didn't really expect to be "plussed.". It's a red turtleneck, people. Move on.
I'm going to hang onto this sweater, just in case I am in a flash mob and we are required to wear dated knitwear in various shades of cherry. I may not wear it again for a few years, but, when I do, I am sure that it will be every bit as much of a non-event as it was today.
My rating: Craig Ferguson. Have you ever overheard anyone say, "Hey, did you see Ferguson's show last night? It was hilarious. Watch that skit he did on YouTube." Yet, the show has not yet gone the way of Magic Johnson, Chevy Chase, or Caroline Rhea's late night offerings (I bet you forgot that she even had a show...and, possibly, who the heck she even is). There will always be people who choose to wear a slightly ho-hum red turtleneck and who opt for just sorta funny when they could actually watch something hilarious (without even having to upgrade their cable packages). And for those people, we have this perfectly fine Gap turtleneck and some mediocre late night TV hosted by an only slightly less mediocre Scottish improviser. He's inoffensive enough (unless, of course, you are watching him try to do some short-form improv with Drew Carey), but there are better options out there when you're ready to break out of this sartorial and not-so-satirical rut. I'm hanging onto this sweater, but only because of his Scottish accent (but don't go looking for any favors from me, Billy Connolly--I'm saving the last spot on the Scots roster for Gerard Butler).
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