Day 16--What Has Two Thumbs and Is Wearing a Sweater? I Don't Know...Because I Can't Move my Arms.

Since I am newly back from vacation, I want to make things easy on myself.  For this week only...no multiples.  I recall from some of my Childhood Psychology classes in college that children love to sort things.  I guess that's why those benches with the holes in the shapes of rectangles and circles still propagate basements everywhere.  As for myself, this sorting task proved to be too daunting...because, oy, those multiples.

As I had some time for contemplation over my lovely ten days in Florida, I came to a realization about the cause of my MSD (Multiple Sweater Disorder): mall clothiers.  Even though it was possible to purchase items online, I don't think I fully embraced it until I finally took that journey down the Amazon (dot com) and never looked back.  Those little impulse tables near the checkout counter did more to clog up the proverbial sweater pipes than any online flash sale could ever hope to do.

So to find an out-of-circulation sweater that did not have any siblings or cousins, twice removed (from the armoire), was not easy.  I opted for this purple knit from Ann Taylor Loft, which I find to be both lovely and trendy (at least it was last year..."Do sweaters come in and out of style that quickly", said the girl who still owns sweaters from Abercombie & Fitch before they only made Daisy Dukes and double-entendre Spring Break t-shirts).

While this color looks more "raisin," I assure you that this is more of the plum variety.

As soon as I put it on, I realized that there was a slight problem--the batwing sleeve and poncho styling made any kind of arm movement nearly impossible.  Unless one is emulating the Robot from Lost in Space (which, if that's you, bravo), this sweater should be reserved for a lazy weekend or on National Stop Talking With Your Hands Day (I'm sure it's listed on one of those calendars you get for free...I think it's right before Sweetest Day).

Knowing that there is no possible way that I could teach anyone skating while wearing this (I'm not even sure I could put on a coat over this sweater), I decided to call an audible.  As I have sweater blog integrity, I will wear this sweater (with pleasure...it looks comfortable), but cannot do so on a day in which I am doing anything other than Irish dancing (in which case, the lack of arm mobility would be desirable).  And, naturally, I couldn't possibly tackle another sweater because then the name of this blog would have to be "100 Days of 101 Sweaters."  So, I decided to take another look at a sweater that was thisclose to being eliminated--what Brooke Burke-Charvet and Tom Bergeron would call "The bottom two," or what any of the fine upstanding Americans on "Bachelor Pad" would refer to as "The hot seat."  I now take you all the way back to Day 8 and the sweater that was part of a Dylan McDermott/Dermot Mulroney tag team.

Poor unsuspecting sweater...

Originally, this sweater used its "Judges' Save" (are they going to do that on American Idol again this season?  It was kind of awkward when they all pretended to discuss saving someone who was clearly NOT going to be saved) based mostly on its lovely multi-colored yarn. It has 19% angora in its fiber content, so it is reasonably soft...but this is where the praise for Dylan/Dermot ends.  After continuously pulling this sweater down so as to avoid the bitter winter chill, I decided that it can no longer coast on its fading good looks.  I did not enjoy wearing this turtleneck again, and think that I will not suffer any separation anxiety if it were to disappear from my life forever.  And, besides, Dermot Mulroney was only on The New Girl for a few episodes anyway.  I think that both the show and this sweater have already jumped the proverbial shark.