Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Day 22--I See Funnel Necks

It's Monday.  A new week.  And the perfect time to take on some of those multiples which have been staging their own Occupy movement on my sweater shelves.  It's tough to decide where to begin with these multiples.  Do I judge them as a set, or take them on as individuals.  Or, since many (if not all) of them fall in various categories (black turtlenecks, purple turtlenecks, green turtlenecks...do you sense a pattern here), do I seed them all and host my own sweater round robin tournament?  Decisions, decisions...and so long until Payday.

I've concluded that I've been been avoiding a tiny subsection of my multiple turtleneck community for a while now: the dreaded funnel neck.  For too long, I've been making excuses for this neckline, "Oh, it's just like a turtleneck," "They're timeless," and, the absolutely egregious fallacy, "It's very 1960.  Jackie O wore them." It would be so easy to just dismiss all of my funnel necks out of hand, but I knew that I needed to at least give them their day in the "sun," (or fluorescent lights of the ice rink, as it were).

Do I even need to say that this particular family of funnel necks are all from the Limited, somewhere around early 2000?  Apparently, my thought process went like this: "Oh, this is cute.  I bet I will want to wear this exact sweater, but in different colors all winter long.  I'll take it in the fun stripes, and then the dreary grey and the depressing black."  So, to honor those new millennium wishes, I will try to wear all 3 members of this family this week.  Try, being the operative word here.

Don't worry...I removed that little feather before wearing.

I would say that the stripes made me feel somewhat sporty, but that would make me sound like a broken record...which, of course, is an outdated of a reference as is this funnel neck.  I can't claim that I felt a certain joie de vivre all day while snuggled up in this (slightly scratchy) wool contestant, but it was warm and did not cause me too many moments of annoyance.  High standards, huh?

I would have had a bit more shame in wearing this neckline had I not seen a sweater in Boden (my latest sweater dealer) that wore the moniker "funnel neck" with pride.  Are they coming back?  Did they ever leave?  I'm guessing that the answer to both questions is still "No," and that Boden can get away with more because they are British (and then, by definition, sartorially cool).

I'm going to keep this sweater around on a provisional basis.  Blame my affinity for the Peanuts series, but I do so enjoy some vertical stripes on my person.  But I draw the line at zigzags...

My rating: Haley Joel Osment. Although he most likely hit the pinnacle of his career in 1999, we keep him around because, well, it's still fun to quote "I see dead people," every once and again.  And while this neckline might be only slightly less stylish than using the phrase, "Pay it forward," it certainly is preferable to actually viewing said film.  The only reason this sweater isn't relegated to becoming one with the Secondhand Lions is because there is something innately likable about Haley Joel, and we all keep rooting for his comeback.  Not so much for the funnel neck, however...

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