Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Day 31 -- The Navy Blue Turtleneck That Couldn't

So, Mr. Multiple, we meet again...only this time you've brought a matching scarf with you.  I suppose you think that the added accessory will somehow endear you to me, rendering me unable to send you on to the charity resale shop. Time will tell, my good friend.  Time will tell... (if you imagined those last two sentences in Mr. Rourke from Fantasy Island's voice, I've done something right).

Isn't wearing a scarf with a turtleneck a bit redundant?

Despite this photo, the color of this sweater
is actually more like a navy mixed with black and
white yarn.  In case you care...

As my Mom might say, this sweater was neither here nor there.  It was warm and easy to put on (once I figured out which way I wanted to tie the scarf, that is), but did very little beyond what was expected of it.  I know that I've let it stick around for so many years because it has a matching scarf...but, to be honest, the scarf was kind of annoying as it kept rolling in on the sides.  Also, the very fact that one would wear a scarf with a turtleneck is an admission that this neck doesn't stay upright and therefore requires additional assistance.  As I hustled around an outdoor mall while the bitter January air whipped across my face, I found myself wishing that I was wearing something that would protect me from this winter chill...like, I don't know...a turtleneck and a scarf.  Neither performed like they should and I will not shed any tears over losing an underachieving navy turtleneck...even if it did provide its own accessories.

My rating: Mark McGrath.  At one point, I was a big fan of his--mostly because he stuck to what he was good at...being a charismatic lead singer of a late 90s SoCal music group.  But then he had to confuse things by adding a scarf and co-hosting Extra.  Is he a singer?  An entertainment reporter?  A Celebrity Apprentice?  By diluting what he was meant for and trying for too much,  he ends up pleasing nobody.  Much like this sweater would have been a lot better had it just tried to be the best turtleneck it could be instead of trying to be something that it is not.  Sugar Ray went from being a Top 40 radio mainstay to being a "Do You Remember" question at bars on Trivia Night. I guess it's time for this sweater to "Fly" as I'm sure even it knows "When it's Over."

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